We've Been Tricked Into Hating Each Other

We've all been tricked into hating each other. Its not one big conspiracy by any particular group, but we have been tricked just the same by lots of different groups who all benefit when Americans not only disagree with each other, but actually intensely hate each other, and its getting very dangerous. We all need to realize we've been duped and step back.

Just like two friends who realize suddenly that they are fighting because some 3rd "friend" has lied to them both, the left and the right in America need to realize that while we definitely disagree about some really important things, we actually agree on way more than we don’t. We need to realize that we've been lied to and manipulated for years and years because some people make more money when we hate each other.

And its been working on both sides of the isle. "I hate them all", "They are evil", "They want to destroy America", "They hate America." are said often on the left and the right. We not only disagree, we hate each other, and we know they hate us.

But this shift from we disagree to we hate each other has been fostered and fueled by those who literally profit from it directly and by those who benefit because this hatred distracts us all from things they don't want us to think about.

Who benefits from this? Political campaigns, political parties, and political consultants all know that getting their base riled up is key to getting donations, volunteers, and votes. These groups and issue groups know that that people are more likely to give money when they feel intensely about a thing. Parisian TV and Radio, such as FOX News, MSNBC, and talk radio shows know that people will keep tuning in if. Online media and advertising companies know you are more likely to click links if it gets you fired up. TV and radio stations make billions off not only regular commercials but off campaign commercials. Now companies like Facebook, Twitter, and others do too. Even the post office benefits from a flood of campaign mailings every fall. Partisan authors, speakers, bloggers, and pundits, all benefit from us not only disagreeing, but feeling indignant, offended, and disgusted by each other. One MSNBC host used to talk about the "Worst Person in the World" as part of his daily segment.

But ratings, votes, and sales aren't the only ways some profit by manipulating us into hate. Those who want ideological purity want you to hate the other side because of course you can't compromise with those evil people. Those who want to suppress the vote want you to hate as well. Group have been manipulating political subgroups into voting or not voting for decades. Republicans loved the Green Party and Democrats like Libertarian or independent candidates like Ross Perot because they decrease votes for their opponents. In 2016, there were many parties who wanted Bernie Sanders supporters to despise Hilary Clinton so much that they just could not bring themselves to vote for her.

The cost of this is enormous.

Our spirits are being attacked for profit. Not only is the soul of the country being torn apart (for profit), but each of our souls is hurting because of it. Hate, rage, and anger are not good nor godly. They are the opposite of what psychologists and religions all teach us about finding happiness and grace.

Important things do not happen. Even bills that seem non partisan like appropriating money to fix highways, freeways, and bridges get stuck in Congress and state capitals because "compromise" with those we hate is unacceptable.

Reality itself is suffering. In order to get us to hate each other, pundits and partisans feel a need to never ever criticize their side and to always criticize the other side, even when they themselves have done it before. Consider how FOX talks about Trump talking to the North Koreans vs how they talked about Obama doing the same. Consider how the left recently critiqued a republican candidate for not instantly conceding defeat on election night even though he was only behind by a razor thin 0.3% of the vote. (Many states mandate recounts when races are that close, but MSNBC and many left online outlets blasted him). One cable news pundit summed it up when he let slipped up on the air and said something like "Ya, if the other side was doing this of course we would attack them for it, but not when we are." This encourages Americans to be hypocrites, which fuels disdain, which fuels hatred. It is maddening to see blatant lying and misrepresentation by the other side, and surprisingly hard to see it when our side does it. Trump calls any news that attacks him as "fake news" but the reality is that most fake news online is bi-partisan and its about profit and manipulation more than about politics.

Technology is making it worse. Now anyone with PowerPoint, page maker, or even a basic blog or website can create professional looking "fake news", and partisans here in America, bloggers looking to make a buck, and foreign military intelligence agencies have all gotten into the game.

What we can do

We need to step back and realize that people are not evil because they voted for Hilary any more than others are evil because they voted for Trump. These people are our inlaws, our relatives, our co-workers, and our fellow Americans, and they have been tricked into hating us and our candidates as much as we have been tricked into hating them and their candidates.

• Ask yourself if you really think our relatives, co-workers, may have been tricked into hating you?

• Ask yourself if maybe you have been tricked into hating them?

• Stop demonizing the other side. Stop posting and saying hateful things yourself. Have compassion, and see those you disagree with as wrong and maybe even fellow victims.

• Distinguish between professional partisans and tricked Americans. Some people like Members of Congress and other politicians and political pundits get paid to be hateful and to try to get you to be hateful. Don't conflate and confuse those people from every day Americans who have slowly but surely manipulated with fake news to hate you too.

• Distinguish between the fringe and the majority of those you disagree with. Paid partisans are incented to get you to believe that all liberals hate America, capitalism, white people, and conservatives, and that all conservatives are the most crazy of crazy fundamentalists who hate minorities and progressives. But most people don't hate each other. They fear each other.

• Focus on areas of agreement. Criminal Justice reform has become a bi-partisan issue that many on the left and the right have started working on and major changes are occurring. Treating veterans much better, helping Americans get off opoids, restrictions to keep vaping products out of the hands of kids, mandatory background checks for guns, and rules against dumping toxic heavy metal polutants into our water are supported by huge majorities and yet these things don’t get addressed because we focus on the areas we disagree and hate each other over.

• Consider the possibility that your side is not perfect, and saying that outloud or online. We each need to start talking about ways that our side makes mistakes and is not perfect. We need to criticize our side when they do things tht we criticize the other side for doing.

• Call out those who are demonizing others. Start telling your friends and family that the biggest problem isn't that we disagree its that we demonize each other so much, and that we need to stop. You can even easily send emails or facebook messages to TV shows and pundits with a few clicks to tell them to focus on disagreement not demonization.

• Respect those you disagree with. The other side has a lot of good points. Liberals are starting to realize that maybe a limit on Presidential power would be a good thing, and Conservatives are realizing that extreme unfettered multi-national capitalism ignores American workers too much.

I am not saying both sides are equally right about policy and that we should stop fighting for what we believe in. I feel very strongly that about 1/2 of America is very wrong about really important policies that result in people going to jail, being killed, not getting health care, mooching off the system, being homeless, getting stuck on drugs, being shot, going off to war. But I know we agree on about 80% of things overall, and that most people want what's best for them, their families, friends, and fellow countrymen. And I also know that the only way to get the votes we need to change the things we want to change is by respecting the difference of opinions enough that we can actually start talking and finding those things we agree on that we can move forward on together. I know that we must see each other as fellow Americans because we can only Save America Together.